Cry Baby, Cry

I used to be able to sleep soundly anywhere. The car, a plane, a tiny desk in an overly crowded classroom, it didn't matter. I could sleep through it all.

Then I had a child. All of a sudden my brain was magically tuned in to a special frequency that could pick up even the slightest whimper. My eyes spring open, my ears straining, my mind aware something has occured but it is still not quite sure what it is. The second slightly louder wail quickly follows immediately clarifying the situation. My child has awakened in the night and has decided to use this new found "down time" to torture me. 

Interestingly enough, it seems I am the only person in the house who is tuned in to this particular frequency. Proof came earlier this week.

My youngest is now 7 months old, and normally he sleeps just fine at night. But, 2 nights ago darling boy decided to wake up at 2 am and start calling for company. My eyes immediately flew open. I laid there listening, hoping he would settle himself down. He didn't. I then turned to my next line of defense, my sweet husband. He was snoring. Oblivious to all. Sleeping peacefully. I thought several undeserved and mean thoughts about my poor husband then noisely went to care for the " needs" of my demanding little offspring. 

As I flopped back into bed the whimpers began again. I sighed rather loudly and glared at the figure beside me. Apparently something had awakened him during my stomping retreat and rustling return.....

I could feel it coming. The overly tired, everythings worse in the middle of the night battle of unfair accusations. If your not familiar with this battle, I will explain. It is normally one person spewing a vicious onslaught of exaggerated perceived wrong doings in a louder than necessary voice. The other person is usually staring in wide eyed confusion trying to determine if this is a dream, prank, or someone who is mentally unstable. I'm sure you can guess which role I played in this epic 2 am battle....

Almost immediately, I knew my tired rant was very wrong. It is not my husband's fault that he can't read my mind or that he didn't receive the "gift" of the crying frequency. It's a pity, but it isn't his fault. Don't feel to bad for him though. I swallowed my pride and apologized then cooked three of his favorite meals this week. Plus I made cookies....so apology accepted. 

In reflection, I've made peace with my role as the hearer of all cries, also known as mother. I have agreed to not assume he knows when I need and want his help. And the dear man believes me, or at least he will till the next 2 am battle!

Where does my Help come from?

My necks is sore from the constant swiveling. My cheeks sting from the repeated blows. My heart aches. My mind wonders. 

But I am resolved. I will lift my head, close my mouth, and retain my testimony, my dignity. Like Gideon I will watch the 20,000 men turn and leave, I will look out at the bleak unknown, and trust the movements of my God. 

I will lift my eyes up. My help will come. True strength comes from my Lord. I will put my trust in Him. 

Adventures in Appendicitis

As most of you know, I spent this past weekend in the hospital recovering from an appendectomy. I thought it would be fun to share some little gems I gathered from this weekend. 

1. Listen to your husband when he says that intense, never ending, excruciating pain in your side is not simply a reaction to an antibiotic. 

2. Always brush your hair before leaving the house, no matter how bad you feel. 

3. Morphine is pretty amazing. Like REALLY amazing. 

4. Ambulance drivers/ medics are wonderfully kind people who give you desperately needed water when cruel doctors and nurses deny this basic human need. 

5. Little surgery hats are funny, with or without the morphine. 

6. Being awakened from surgery is one of the cruelest wake ups ever. Let a girl sleep!

7. The food at WakeMed is not nearly as good as the food at REX ( just sayin...)

8.  Pretty flowers from sweet friends and family really do make you feel better! ( kit kats, chocolate covered pretzels, and cake pops might have also helped)

9. Nurses are torturers who force you to get up and walk and breathe deep when all you want to do is sleep. 

10. Holding out for the bigger room so your husband can actually have a bed pays off! 

11. Four days is way too long to be away from these sweet faces!

12. My husband is a rare find. He gives, provides, cares, and does. All without complaint or expectation. 

13. My family is a bunch of rock stars! They scooped up my boys and gladly loved and cared for them while I couldn't.

14. Modern medicine is fabulous and I'm super thankful for it ( I mean, they pulled my appendix out through my belly button! That's kinda amazing! I would post a picture of my belly button, but that might be a bit much)

15. And lastly, Thank you Jesus for making our bodies resilient little healers! 

( that's me. At home. Feeling better.)