So, I got a job. It's pretty great and I am nervously excited. It's not my dream job (unfortunately no one has offered to pay me gross amounts of money to lounge around and read all day. Maybe one day...). But, it's pretty close.
Starting in August I will be a middle school teacher at a christian school here in town. I already know several teachers who work there and a few parents whose children attend there. All have great things to say. I find this encouraging. I'm excited. And I'm also scared.
I haven't been in a traditional classroom for several years now. I have been tutoring and assisting others with homeschooling. But 16+ students in a classroom all staring at and depending on me...its been awhile. I have an overwhelming desire to reread every teaching book I've ever owned. I no longer browse pinterest for recipes but classroom ideas. I sit on the couch staring at the tv but thinking about curriculum, classroom management, and various other teachery things. But the biggest sign of the upcoming school year are the nightmares.
This is not new for me. Every year about two weeks before school started I would begin having nightmares. The content of the nightmares is what you expect, I'm sure. Unruly children creating chaos and small fires everywhere they go, disapproving principals ominously shaking their heads, me running horribly late, forgetting which classroom is mine, realizing I forgot to get dressed. But this year they have come earlier, happen more frequently, and seem much more vivid. I feel like a newbie again. I wake up startled and drenched in sweat. My mind charges back to reality and relief floods my entire body as I realize it was just a dream, and no, I have not been fired on the first day of school.
As weird as this may read.... I'm glad for these nightmares. They are proof of new experiences. New adventures. New school and new friends. They signal my return to a profession I love.
My hiatus is over. The school year will start and the nightmares will end.
They always do.
And yet....... well, that's for the next entry........