And tonight I find myself hesitating. I have started several different posts only to delete them and start anew. They are stories I am not yet ready to write. They are ideas and thoughts I can not share. They are too personal, too close to me and who I am. As I try to write them down, I feel exposed and uncomfortable. Creating something takes courage. It is laying bare a part of yourself for all the world to see.
Tonight, I learned I am not courageous. I can't freely share without thought of who will see this, how it will affect them, how it will affect me. I stared at the words on the screen and they just felt wrong, almost inappropriate. Create. It is a powerful word. A power that must sometimes be checked.
Maybe not all things need to be created.
I've always thought that being courageous was not being free of fear but being fearful and still moving forward and doing what you know is right or needed. This is what I tell myself when I'm trying to talk myself into doing something that I know I should but really don't want to, out of doubt, whether in myself or those involved or worried that things won't work the way I imagine they should. We're all afraid of something, that doesn't make us cowards, it's what we do about those fears. Just started reading your blog and really liking it so far. :)
ReplyDeleteJoy, thanks for sharing your thoughts! Maybe I'll learn to move past some of those fears.
DeleteSo glad you're reading and enjoying it!