Monday, November 18, 2013

The domestic troll

Load dishwasher. Unload dishwasher.
Wash laundry. Fold laundry. Put laundry in drawers.
Dust. Vacuum. Sweep. Mop.
Clean bathroom. Four year old uses bathroom. Clean bathroom again. 
Pick up toys. Pick up toys again. Tell four year old to pick up toys. Wait. Pick up toys again. 
Make breakfast. Do dishes. Make lunch. Do dishes. Make dinner. Do dishes. 

I am not a domestic goddess. I'm more like a domestic troll. Short, chubby, and slightly bitter as I shuffle about my duties.  I read the Facebook post of some of my more domestically inclined friends. They relish this job. They  vacuum daily, make their own laundry soap, scrub their baseboards weekly, dance to Yo Gabba Gabba with their kids, and still have time to make a three course meal. I read this with awe and jealousy mixed with a hint of a snarl. 

I recently read an article that said a real woman understands the importance of her role as the domestic keeper of her home. She appreciates and fulfills... Blah blah blah... (Insert eye roll here). You see, I understand the importance of my role. I will aggressively attack all the chores listed above. I just won't do them with a saccharin  smile on my face, heels on my feet, and pearls around my neck. 

And yes, this was written in a stunning display of procrastination. I guess I should start those chores now....


  1. J, if you only knew the last time my bathroom was totally and completely clean! (Don't be scared...that's my bathroom, not the guest bath). Sweet lady, I used to be "that woman, mom, hostess, etc. I strived to have the life straight from a Southern Living magazine, and it worked...for a good twelve years. Then I fell apart and got really sick. The 24/7 of being that wife, that mom, that hostess, that Bible study girl, that Sunday school teacher tore me to pieces.
    So J, you do YOU, only you, because I, no, WE, think you are awesome! Do we still get twinges of guilt and *gasp* jealousy when we see that neighbor's perfectly decorated home hosting twenty-five for Thanksgiving? (**cough** David Frye **cough**) Yes. But then we have to think, "If I had that, I wouldn't have this." You are an awesome woman, Julia Tadlock...don't forget it!

  2. Michelle, thanks for reading! And thank you for the sweet comment. I also have tried to be the uber wife/ mom, but have come to grips with the fact that I'm not that woman. But, sometimes I wish I was!
    Oh! And you are so right about those Fryes! ;)